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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

My Friend Speedy

Romans 8:38-39

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord

Saturday my friend Speedy went to be with the Lord. His cancer and his treatment in the ICU were frighteningly similar to Andrea's, and sadly so was the outcome. Tomorrow my friend Kathy and I will attend the funeral at the National Cemetery at Ft Sam Houston, the same place Andrea is buried. I ask that you remember Dora and her family in your prayers tonight.

As I looked at the family photos of Dora, Speedy at the memorial I was saddened knowing the pain my friend Dora was going through and the pain that awaits her. I wish I could bear it for her and her kids but I can not. I remember Ginger's first email to me after Andrea died, she told me nothing would take the pain away, or allow me to "escape" the path I had to walk. I have often thought about that. It was a prayer that would not be answered. No matter how much I asked God to take away the pain I was feeling and the pain that awaited me, it was not going to be taken from me. It a strange way it was mine and mine alone. Others could sit with me, they could tell me they were sorry for me, that could express their own sadness, but there came a time when I had to face the sadness and loss alone. As her husband I enjoyed Andrea's love and now I would suffer for that. I could not go to sleep and hope someone would bear the pain for me, thinking that I would awake and life would be fine. Sleep would only delay the pain that was mine, mine to hold and mine to get through. It was the price paid for a great marriage and it hurt beyond any pain I have ever felt, and it was worth it. As I enter my life with Ginger knowing she or I will face this again, and it is worth it.

So as I thought of what I could do for Dora, I thought of the one thing that carried Andrea and I through many difficult days. That gift was scripture. It helped us during days waiting outside the CT room, days in the chemo room, days in the bathroom while Andrea was sick, days waiting for test results and most of all sleepless nights spent in the "Holiest of Hollies." That is what Andrea called the closet in our house and when we could not sleep we would go in there and pray. Sometimes together many times alone. But every time we left feeling comforted, stronger, and ready for the fight. Andrea and I both made small books of 3 x 5 cards with our favorite scriptures. I took out Andrea's book yesterday and copied them into a book for Dora. I knew I could not take her pain but I could give her the one thing that is greater then her pain, that is a reminder of God's love. His love for her, her kids and for Speedy. Promises of His faithfulness, assurances that Speedy is as much alive as he ever was, and now he is healed. I hope he has seen Andrea. I hope they have had a moment to share the joy of being healed and being in the presence of the Lord.

I hope they have a nice day with Jesus.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry to hear about Speedy. I know he has found a friend there in heaven. My prayers go out to Dora and their family.