I came home and the boys and I decided it was time to do some cleaning. It is a strange Ravella gene, we relax by cleaning. We cleaned out the flowers, moped all the floors, bathrooms and put out about 6 bags of trash vacuumed the window sills and the baseboards. The boys were with me until I started cleaning out behind the stove and refrigerator. Then they looked at me funny and went to watch football. It felt good to get something done towards my new life. I have found I can only take so much grief in a day then I just have to allow myself to live. I framed a picture of Andrea and put it in the living room. It is stunning how pretty she looks. But it seems so out of place. It is strange to walk in and see her picture knowing there will not be another picture of her taken.
I took my first step in cleaning out Andrea's stuff. I started with the bathroom. I cleaned out all her stuff except her makeup. It was another step in learning to live alone. I moved a little closer to understanding what my life will be like. It looks too clean and too lonely.