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Perfect Imperfection

Tonight we put up our Christmas tree, the first Ravella/Gilbert tree. Actually we have two trees. One is artificial. It is perfect. It has p...

Friday, November 30, 2007

Can I Say What I Want?

Lord forgive me but can I say what I want?

Can I tell you my desire and not feel guilty?

Can I be selfish in my faith for a little bit?

Can I say what I want?

I want to talk to Andrea again
I want to hear her laugh
I want to look into those beautiful blue eyes and feel her love
I want to hear her tell me a story and I want to hear every detail
I want to pray with her, and listen to her wisdom
I want to sing praises with her and hear her beautiful voice
I want to go for a walk and talk about our day
I want to talk about what life will be when we "Get where we are going"
I want to hear her tell me about the house she wants with the big porch to watch the sunset
I want to dig a garden for her
I want to see her walk in the house with dirty hands and sweat on her brow from working in the yard
I want to hold her and tell her it will all be okay
I want to be for her what she is for me
I want to be the faith she needs
I want to feel her cold feet in bed and warm them for her
I want to read the bible to her
I want to learn form her faith
I want to grow from her patience
I want to read a note she left me
I want to see her smile when she laughs deep down
I want to comb her hair
I want to rub her back when she is sore
I want to fall asleep in the chair watching a movie
I want to feel her gentle breathing on my chest
I want to tell her I love her one more time and hear her say, I love you to
I want to cook another meal with her, have a glass of wine on a candle lit table
I want to travel to new places and explore new things together
I want to ride on a train in Europe and watch the scenery go by
I want to learn and grow with her
I want to be Andrea's husband
I want to take care of her
I want to make her feel better when she hurts
I want to take her to church
I want to serve you Lord with her by my side
I want to hear her tell me she is proud of me
I want to tell her I'm proud of her
I want to tell her again what she means to me
I want get to know her even more
I want to tell her thanks for loving me so patiently, I never deserved such love
I want her to get out of this bed and go home with me
I want her to open the presents I got her on Christmas morning
I want to take our family picture at Christmas, her surrounded by her boys
I want to go to bed and feel her by my side
I want to awake and hear her say "Good morning"
I want to go to work and look back as she waves goodbye from the porch
I want to tell her how beautiful she is
I want to thank her for making me who I am
I want to thank her for loving me so perfectly
I want to thank her for the gentle reminders to be better father
I want to watch a sunset together
I want to lay in a field and watch the stars

I want to tell her once more how much I love her
I want to hear her tell me "It will be okay"
I want to go home

These are my prayers today Lord
This is what I want to say
These are the desires of my heart, forgive me if they are selfish

Won't you let me tell you what I want?

Jim

ICU Update 30 Nov 07

Today began with a weight a heaviness in Andrea's room. Andrea remained the same all day, sleeping, unresponsive. Her breathing too fast around 57 breaths a minute and her heart rate to rapid, around 145 beats per minute. She was running a marathon lying in the bed.

At 12 noon we stop to join in prayer with friends around the country.

My sister Maureen and I left around 5pm to meet Andrea's Mom, sister and brother in law who were driving in from Wichita Falls. We went back to the hospital around 8pm and found Andrea's heart rate down to 134, and her breathing rate down to 44 breaths per minute. Roz was there when we arrived and we had a nice visit with Andrea. She seemed to respond to our voices. She did not open her eyes but she definitely heard us.

Still no answers as to the cause of the infection. We met with the doctors around 3pm and discussed her options. If there are no changes by Monday we will have to consider other treatment options. The assumption would be after one week of antibiotics and no response the infection is most likely not bacterial. Our next course would be to try steroids. Now there is a lot of time between now and Monday and I'm praying Andrea will just improve and make the decision for us.

They did stop Andrea's sedation meds and went back to manual delivery of her pain meds. This was the same treatment option they tried on Tuesday which resulted in Andrea waking up and fighting the ventilator as well as Roz and me. This time I was clear with the doctor that I did not want a repeat of Tuesday. We had a great day shift nurse who kept Andrea comfortable yet able to do some breathing on her own. Tonight Jan is the night shift nurse. This was her second night with Andrea and she is a jewel. Roz had a good idea to show Jan the pictures on the blog site. It allowed Jan to get to know Andrea and her friends and family. When we left tonight Jan was standing by Andrea's bed holding her hand.

Although today's victories were just a few steps of a long journey, but they were victories. When we left the hospital at 9:30 I was encouraged in my spirit and hopeful.

Thank you all for the prayers.


Thursday, November 29, 2007

ICU Update 29 Nov 07

Today Andrea is stable, not showing much improvement but not getting worse. There still is no sign of what is causing the infection. There are many possible causes but here is what I understand. Which I admit is not much when it comes to medicine. This is the dumbed down version of the dumbed down version the doctors told me but it is essentially correct.

1. Bacterial - You fight this with antibiotics
2. Viral - No treatment really, you just have to let it runs its course
3. Inflammatory - Can be caused by reaction to chemo drugs. You fight this with steroids.

After 3 days of every known antibiotic and not seeing any significant change in Andrea's condition the odds decrease that Andrea pneumonia is bacterial. So each day that passes the doctors think this may be caused by a virus or inflammatory. I believe we are going to wait until Saturday or Sunday to see results from the antibiotics. Andrea may just be reacting slowly to the antibiotics due to her weakness and the chemo she has been on. If after the weekend there is still no change I think the next course will be steroids, thinking the cause may be inflammatory. The draw back to steroids is if the cause is an infection the steroids will allow the infection to grow, so they need to make sure Andrea's pneumonia is not caused by an infection.

I think after a week of antibiotics the odds there is still bacterial is low. Of course every day they continue to run tests to try to determine the cause to the best treatment decision option. As of today all the tests are inconclusive.

My assessment Andrea is stable but getting better if that makes sense. Today she has been very restful. Moving some which is good but not fighting the ventilator. I think she is using her strength to fight the infection vice the machine. Anyway it was a more restful day and I feel your prayers in this room. Andrea is about to surprise these doctors and nurses.

I can’t wait until they meet her.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

There She Lies in the Center

Life is so fragile, so delicate
Seemingly so simple
Complexity is reveled
In a struggle to balance what God has created

There she lies in the center

Impressive are the machines, and the data displayed
Impressive even more the technology
They bring a sense of comfort and strength
Soon shaken by questions unanswered
Man trying to do what God spoke into existence
See how impressive we are with our knowledge
See how little we know

There she lies in the center

Doctors, nurses, decisions
Words I don't understand
Hoses, wires, fluids, drugs
Raise this, lower this, draw this, inject that
All trying to balance what God has made

There she lies in the center

Beeps, alarms, puffs of air
Pumps deliver food water and medicine
People touching, prodding, try to understand
X rays, CTs, ultrasound look for causes
So much effort, yet every answer brings another question
Adjustments are made, tests are run
Confirmation is sought
None is found

There she lies in the center

Life, hangs in the balance
The body so fragile, yet so strong
Prayers are said
Questions are asked
Faith is challenged
God seems silent

There she lies in the center

Tests come back, drugs are added
One drug to do this the another for that
Blood is ordered, pain is managed
"Comfort" is sought
Little is found
Not for us nor for her

And there she lies in the center

Why Won't You Leave Her Alone

If there one thing I'm worse at then writing its poetry. Especially having not done this since I was forced to in High School. That being said this came to me this morning when I woke up. There is no specific format. I don't no the difference between one type of poem from another. These are just my feelings.


Why are you picking on her?
Why won't you leave her alone?
You know there is a limit to what a person can take
Why won't you leave her alone?

She is but a child
A Mother to her boys
A Wife to her husband
A Daughter
A Sister
A Aunt
A cousin
A Friend to so many

What has she ever done to you?
Has she ever spoken a harsh word against you?
Has she ever mistreated you?
Has she harmed you in some way?
What? Tell me so I can understand
What has she done to cause you to torment her so?
Tell us why have you come?
Why won't you just leave her alone?

I see you on the x-ray, I see you on the CT films
The unwelcome black spot
The abnormal shading
You seem almost harmless on the screen
This little spot against all of us, it almost seems unfair
Yet you have proven a tough opponent
You pursue without rest
You seem to never tire
Day after day, month after month year after year you pursue us
You are patient aren't you?
You just wait with a smugness that I hate
With a certainty I despise
What have we done to cause you to hate us so?
Why won't you leave her alone?

I see your handy work in her fatigue
I see your effectiveness in her weary eyes
I hear you rejoice in her cries
I feel your disgust for us in her pain
I feel you mocking us in our attempt to stop you
I hear your laughter in the hum of the clippers as I shave her head
I hate you and I hate your ways
Why have you come?
Why won't you leave her alone?


We engaged in battle, having never meet
I only know you by your names
Invasive ductile carcinoma, Breast cancer, Metastatic Cancer, Mets
I know you by the company you keep
Vomit, sickness, fatigue, exhaustion, pain, and suffering
You attack, we respond, you retreat, we relax, you regroup and we fall back
You are vial so hateful, so violent
Why are you so angry at her?
Why do you hate her so much?
I do not understand you
Why won't you leave her alone?

You seem so harmless in the pictures. Hardly a opponent worthy of our time
Yet you have proven worthy of your reputation
You have bested our every effort
You have beaten every drug
Millions of dollars years of schooling have not been able to defeat you
What is it that makes you do this?
What is causing you to kill what keeps you alive?
Your victory will only bring your own death
Who sent you for such a task?
Why are you hurting her so?
Why won't you leave her alone?

Do you even know her?
Do you even care?
Do you know what she means to us?
Do you know how valuable she is to us?
Do you know the void you are creating?
The pain you are causing?
Do you know the ripple you cause from your ways?
Do you know her boys need her,
Her friends seek her
Her husband loves her
Her family cherishes her
Do you know how many people you are hurting?
Do you even care?
Way do you hurt her so?
Why do you do this?
Why?
She has done nothing to deserve this.

Why won't you just leave her alone?

ICU Update 28 Nov

Andrea is stable. On the bad side she has not responded to the antibiotics yet. The doctor just walked out and they now don't expect to see results until after the weekend. Her fever is down and she seems more relaxed. They are almost certain it is pneumonia but not what kind or the cause. So we are doing the shotgun blast treatment. If it is from a virus it will just have to run its course and that will take time. If its bacterial then we hope the antibiotics will kick in and speed the recovery. She is on every antibiotic now man so if it is bacterial we should see some response.

Due to the condition of her lungs they have the ventilator is on a setting that forces air in and never releases to zero pressure. Her lungs are not very elastic due to the infection and disease so they are trying to maximize the effectiveness of the healthy tissue. Because of this the vent is very uncomfortable, and unnatural in how rapidly Andrea has to breath. This is because she has a lot of Co2 and acidic gas from the infection and she needs to exhale a lot to get rid of it. This also makes the vent more uncomfortable for her.

On top of that they want her to be as awake as possible to monitor her condition and that is hard with on her. The past two days have been the hardest ever and I hope she will improve so they can back off on the vent and in turn be able to back off the pain and sedation medication. It is such a fine line. And her condition is very serious, very fragile.

Her lungs are weak which leads towards a slower recovery. They said maybe 10-14 days on the ventilator now. Past 14 days they will think about a putting the ventilator in the tracheal tube.

They check her blood and lungs all the time looking for signs her lungs are stronger. When they can they will slowly back off the vent and keep checking and as Andrea is able they will decrease the vent until she can breath on her own. So far the have not been able to do that. The machine is providing a significant amount of her breathing.


She has a great nurse today, Mike. Both of us have been in this room all day. I guess he has no other patients to care for. That is nice but speaks to the seriousness of Andrea's condition.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Thoughts

It is 2am. I returned from the hospital around 11:00 and I came back to check emails. To get my dose of strength for all of you. A close friend wrote me and said she loved the entry in the blog from today. She said those were God's words.

I wrote her back and said I wrote that blog at the hospital. I never wrote more then a couple of minutes at a time and to tell the truth I had lost track of what I was trying to say so many times I thought about not posting the blog. I came home around 5 to check on Anthony and decided to post it anyway. I figured it was better then nothing since many of you would be looking for an update on Andrea and I promised I would post something each day.

After her email I decided to read the blog. It was very hard for me to read. (Not because of the spelling errors. My excuse is I lost my editor to the ICU.) But it was because I did not recognize the words as mine. I love that about writing, when I see God using this blog right before my eyes. You see I have so little talent or ability to write. So many of the blogs just come out and as the page scrolls down I don't always see the connection in the words. And many times what I started out to write is lost in a new message I had no intention of writing. I know that despite my errors and mistakes what God wants said is spoken. He really can use any one, we need not be perfect to apply. I'm proof of that.

The other reason it was hard to read is because I see the frailty of Andrea in the words. It scares me right now. I don't have a feeling that everything will turn out as I hope. Maybe it is what I see in Andrea's eyes, tiredness and fatigue.  I think it scares me down deep. Maybe this is just an attack on my spirit, maybe not. I try not to push away every thought that I don't like as if to say the only words I hear from God say what I want. I try to listen for God even in the words I don't want to hear. Maybe it is just exhaustion speaking right now. I don't know and I don't have my best friend here to ask. This is when Andrea would give me the words I needed to hear. When she would give me a little of her faith strength and wisdom. I miss her right now. I miss seeing her sleeping on the futon behind me. Even though she was tired she would want to be in the same room with me so she come back to the TV room and lie down and fall asleep. I would finish working on the computer and tell her it is time for bed. I liked knowing she was behind me, knowing when I turned around there she would be. I don't want to turn around right now. The futon is empty. So is the bedroom. All Andrea's stuff is how she left it. It is an eerie reminder of her absence in the silence of the room. I try to stay up until I want to drop hoping that when I get to the room I won't notice the emptiness. It doesn't work. The silence screams at me and I can't sleep.

I clutch the Bible and pray myself to sleep. Asking God to spare me the pain of separation, the silence of an empty bedroom. Where once I could reach over and hold Andrea in the night, now I only find her pillow. I hurt, I'm scared and I’m afraid. I have been with Andrea my whole adult life, since I was 18, 27 years, 24 of them as husband and wife. I hardly know what to do without her. Who will tell me it will all be okay? Who will I turn to?

I will turn to my savior because He is my shield and my comfort.  He is my fortress and my rampart my protector in whom I will trust. I will turn to my faith built upon past prayers answered. Some seemingly insignificant at the time but now remind me God cares even about the smallest detail of my life. All remind me I am not alone.

I thought about what I wrote the other day about Christ and what he did for me on the cross. I started to read a book on this subject yesterday. Strangely I bought two books and I intended to read the other one first but I can' t find it. I think I needed to read this book first. One word picture spoke to me today, the blood stained earth beneath the cross.

I have never thought about that before. But I closed my eyes and put myself at the foot of the cross. Christ hanging above me, If I look straight up I can look Him in the face. His head hangs limp the sweat drips from his brow and His hair. His eyes are closed, He is exhausted. The beatings and loss of blood are taking their toll. His blood runs down the cross, and the earth under Him is soaks up the blood. I fall on my hands and knees and my hand feels the wetness of the soil. As I lift my hand I see it is covered in mud, red mud. By falling on my knees I discover His blood.

When I was little, around 14 I think, there was a police chase on the street we lived on. Apparently the police had shot and killed a man right across the street from our house. When I awoke the next day and went across the street the ground was still soaked by blood and there was a pool of thick dark red blood on the sidewalk. I remember touching the grass and feeling the wetness of the ground. This is what I imagine the ground is beneath the cross.

As I pick up my hand and feel the wetness of the soil still warm from the blood. I look up. Christ opens His eyes and looks right into mine. No words are spoken. He does not have the strength to speak, and I don't have the courage. It is in that moment I realize what He has done for me and the price that He has been paid. In His last moments He asks for a drink, a sponge soaked in wine vinegar is lifted to his lips and then it is finished. His last act was to give all he had for me. All the pain, the mocking, ridicule, beating, and the utter disgrace and the separation from the father, the wages of my sin, this was all for me. Who am I that my King should die for me? That this blood that was only moments before sustaining His life, is now spilled on the ground and on my hand. His body without life, falls limp.

Isaiah 49: 15-16
Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;



I Thought about this verse. I think it was the nails that engraved us in His palms. I think when Christ looks down at His hands He sees the scares and he remembers us. How could He forget those he suffered so much to save? Do you think that day is erased from His memory? I think not, I think he remembers exactly how He suffered. All the pain and the price that He paid. When He sees us suffer for Him He remembers the pain and He understands far better then we what it means to suffer.

His eyes now closed, I'm left staring at my hand and the blood soaked mud covering it. He has died for me, that I might live. I did not ask Him to die, He died before I knew I needed Him. He did not wait for me to tell Him I would make it worth the pain He suffered. He died when I was a sinner. In this He left me the choice to make his sacrifice meaningful in my life. What am I to do with this blood on my hand? What does this have to do with my life? Very little I think, if all I see in this act of sacrifice is a way for me to avoid suffering in my own life. As Christ said, "No servant is greater then His master."

As I struggled tonight, and began to wrap myself in my sorrow and pity, I knelt at the foot of the cross and looked into the eyes of my savior and I saw His compassion and love for me. I saw the price that was paid for my salvation. I saw the suffering that He took in my place. I saw what I deserved. I saw love look at me through weak and weary eyes. I saw Him say with his eyes, "I will be with you Jim when you find yourself overcome by pain. When you feel lonely I'm with you." And I know that when I look up to Him tonight in the loneliness of my bedroom I will look into His same eyes and I will know He understands my suffering. And as I look into His eyes tonight His eyes will not be weary from exhaustion, His head is not hanging, but lifted up. He is sitting in victory.

I know that the same love expressed on that cross awaits me as I turn around and face the empty futon, and the silence of my room. I know that the same voice that spoke clam to the sea will speak peace to my heart.

Hebrews 4:15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.

2 Corinthians 5:21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.


It was then I realized life is not meant to be easy, just meaningful. It was then I realized what I was supposed to do with the blood on my hand. And it was then that I knew it was okay to go to bed.

Monday, November 26, 2007

ICU Day 2 26 Nov 2007

I guess I have been preparing myself for this the potential of losing Andrea. Over the last two years I have run through my mind Andrea’s obituary more times then I can count. What would I write to try to capture this most unique, and special woman, mother, wife, and friend. My mind would race to the funeral, what would I do, how would I plan it, where should it be? Questions asked far before their time. It is hard when it seems the only escape you see is the one thing you are fighting to avoid. I hated it when I had those thoughts, but I could not stop them. They are part of the cancer package you receive when the doctor tells says you have incurable stage IV cancer. Yes there are many things in that package. Fear, worry, dread, darkness, gloom, and the heaviness on you shoulders you can’t seem to shake. But you bring your own package to the party. You bring faith maybe not enough, actually never enough because life had rarely asked for this much faith. But what you don’t have you gain, you carve it; you seek it because it is your lifeline. You also bring family and friends. Those who stand beside us and help carry the weight we bear. Those who call knowing when you dial the phone you don’t know what to say. Those who write letters who struggle to find the words to express your thoughts. Those who pray and find you are unable to express what you feel but by faith sit in silence. This is also included in the package you receive with cancer and we have been blessed to have families of faith and friends who love us, all willing to walk with us on this journey. Never fleeing when times are hard, only drawing closer. I hear the concern in your voices and the worry in your e-mails. I understand the lack of words you have at a time when there seems nothing you can say other then, “We are praying for you.” I want you to know those words as strength to my soul.

I was talking to one of Andrea’s friends today and she began to cry. The reality of the situation was hitting her as it has me. I’m sure her mind was racing to places she did not want to go. It is as if you mind takes off with an idea and you loose control of where it takes you. You don’t want to go down that path but before you know it events yet to be are suddenly played out as if they are certin. It was then that I was reminded that this is as hard for you on the other side of these pages as it is for me. Those who have fallen in love with Andrea as I have but who can not be here to offer her the comfort of a touch a kiss or just the strength she gives when you are by her side. I know you struggle with what to do, all offering to help in any way. I want you to know I’m sorry you have to deal with this. You are volunteers in this fight, but you are no less committed then I am. I think in many ways your struggle is harder then mine because I’m with Andrea and I have been there in the night when she asks for prayer, or for some ice water. I have been able to give her physical help and I feel I’m doing something to fight against the enemy that stalks us. I have shared in her victories and her struggles, as you but you have to do it from afar. And I know the wondering makes the worry grow. The voids created by the distance seemed to be filled with thoughts of the worst outcome. And again you find your mind racing to places and outcomes you would rather not think about. I have tried to keep you informed in hopes that you will feel closer and in some way I hope I have helped carry some of the weight you bear on this journey.

Sometimes cancer does not allow us the ability to ignore the worst. When the doctor tells us Andrea’s lungs are mostly cancerous you are taken down that path whether you like it or not. It is not the same as my mind filling the voids with unknowns and what ifs; this is more the unknowns being filled in by reality. The truth is Andrea is terminal; cancer will take her life without a miracle. I do believe in that miracle for many reasons and those are not born out of my desires but out of a faith and answered to prayers. But I know the enemy we face. I know his ways; he is predictable in his methods. The play has been written by those before us and the doctors know the script by heart. Ours is a hope in the unwritten portion. The part of the play known only to God. The author and completer of our faith.
Andrea and I have talked many times about the reality of what she faced. She is honest with herself and her prayers for my life. But she is also a fighter and she fights because she believes God can heal her. She fights because she has so much life to live, grandkids to see, sons to watch grow into men, and a family she loves. She fights because of all of you, those she was blessed to call friends. Each one of you so unique, and so special. I always noticed one common thread about Andrea’s friends. They may have come from different walks of life; been at different stages of life, but they all had one thing in common, honesty. You are genuine. Andrea loved those who were not afraid to be themselves, people who were honest, and true to themselves. Not perfect in anyway, real people who had real struggles. In fact it was your ability to be open with your faults that Andrea respects so much. Andrea does not like to pretend life is perfect, life is real to her. Struggles with raising kids are real for her and she did not like to pretend she had the perfect family or perfect kids. She was learning along the way and her friends allowed her to be open and you in turn were open with her. I think it was that quality more then anything that made her relationships so deep and close. Her friends became like family, someone she could expose her weaknesses to and feel loved no matter what. It was a deep bond born from honesty. Each of you are special in your own way, but I think each of you had this common thread. I think that is what drew many of you to Andrea. She was non-threatening, physically yes, but also as a person. You knew you could trust her that she would never hurt you or use things you shared against you. Andrea loves as love should be. She is faithful and trusting, never condemning but always challenging. I’m always amazed how people always feel comfortable talking to Andrea, especially young girls. Andrea has a special calling to witness to your girls. She loves being with them and they love being with her.

Of course Andrea is scared at times. This past week was one of them. I think we were both scared. This trip to the hospital was different than before, I just felt it. When I came in today Andrea seemed far from me, trapped between two worlds. I wanted to tell her it was okay to go to release her but in my selfishness I could not. The events of the past 24 hours were far too familiar to what I have played out in my mind. Cancer in its cruel ways would put us right where we are, in the hospital, in ICU, Andrea’s fragile life in the balance. She is tired, exhausted from the fight and the cancer takes her. In my mind it mocks us as if to say, “Who are you with your faith to fight me, I am cancer your worst fear and I choose to end this.” But truth be known our ability to talk about death and the physically reality of cancer is our way to say, “We mock you cancer, you have no authority here. Your threats are empty, because Christ defeated death. We are sons and daughters of God, the King of Kings, Lord of Lords and our time is in his hands not yours. You can only act out what God has allowed.” We are not hiding our heads in the sand and pretending this is not serious, but we are also not giving cancer authority is does not deserve. It cannot take what we do not give it. Our faith and our love is ours to keep, not for cancer to take from us. It can take physical life. And that is hard for us, but as believers we are no longer citizens of this world, and the definition of life is no longer restricted to this world.

Besides Andrea is a Brumley (Her mom’s maiden name.) As the story goes her uncle was at a bar and someone wanted to start a fight with him. Her uncle said, “My names Brumley, lets step outside.” That pretty much sums up the fight in Andrea. She gets it honest as they say in Texas. That combined with the faith from her father’s side and you see what makes her who she is, a woman of faith with the fight of the dog patch. (The dog patch is what they call the rough part of town.)

If ever cancer has ever met its match physically, he has now. Picking on a 4’ 11” Texan may have been a tactical error cancer will regret. But picking on a 4’ 11” Texan who believes in Christ is without a doubt an error.

On the medical side. Andrea is resting pretty comfortably. The doctors feel more confident this was caused by an infection most likely pneumonia. We will wait for the next two days to see if the infection responds to the antibiotics. If it does her lungs will respond and they will back off the ventilator and eventually remove it. The next two days are critical. If the she does not improve then they will have to continue to search for the cause of her breathing difficulty. That would not be good. I will not sugar coat this situation, it is very serious and Andrea’s life is very fragile right now. Pneumonia in a patient with weak lungs is life threatening. But the mountain to us is nothing to God, He made the mountain.

For those of you seeking how you can help please pray for the doctor’s wisdom, the nurse’s strength, and Andrea’s healing. Pray every mountain would be removed and cast into the sea and God would be glorified in Andrea’s healing. May His name be lifted up and lives be changed.

In Christ,

Jim