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Friday, November 30, 2007

Can I Say What I Want?

Lord forgive me but can I say what I want?

Can I tell you my desire and not feel guilty?

Can I be selfish in my faith for a little bit?

Can I say what I want?

I want to talk to Andrea again
I want to hear her laugh
I want to look into those beautiful blue eyes and feel her love
I want to hear her tell me a story and I want to hear every detail
I want to pray with her, and listen to her wisdom
I want to sing praises with her and hear her beautiful voice
I want to go for a walk and talk about our day
I want to talk about what life will be when we "Get where we are going"
I want to hear her tell me about the house she wants with the big porch to watch the sunset
I want to dig a garden for her
I want to see her walk in the house with dirty hands and sweat on her brow from working in the yard
I want to hold her and tell her it will all be okay
I want to be for her what she is for me
I want to be the faith she needs
I want to feel her cold feet in bed and warm them for her
I want to read the bible to her
I want to learn form her faith
I want to grow from her patience
I want to read a note she left me
I want to see her smile when she laughs deep down
I want to comb her hair
I want to rub her back when she is sore
I want to fall asleep in the chair watching a movie
I want to feel her gentle breathing on my chest
I want to tell her I love her one more time and hear her say, I love you to
I want to cook another meal with her, have a glass of wine on a candle lit table
I want to travel to new places and explore new things together
I want to ride on a train in Europe and watch the scenery go by
I want to learn and grow with her
I want to be Andrea's husband
I want to take care of her
I want to make her feel better when she hurts
I want to take her to church
I want to serve you Lord with her by my side
I want to hear her tell me she is proud of me
I want to tell her I'm proud of her
I want to tell her again what she means to me
I want get to know her even more
I want to tell her thanks for loving me so patiently, I never deserved such love
I want her to get out of this bed and go home with me
I want her to open the presents I got her on Christmas morning
I want to take our family picture at Christmas, her surrounded by her boys
I want to go to bed and feel her by my side
I want to awake and hear her say "Good morning"
I want to go to work and look back as she waves goodbye from the porch
I want to tell her how beautiful she is
I want to thank her for making me who I am
I want to thank her for loving me so perfectly
I want to thank her for the gentle reminders to be better father
I want to watch a sunset together
I want to lay in a field and watch the stars

I want to tell her once more how much I love her
I want to hear her tell me "It will be okay"
I want to go home

These are my prayers today Lord
This is what I want to say
These are the desires of my heart, forgive me if they are selfish

Won't you let me tell you what I want?

Jim

2 comments:

  1. "May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all of your requests."
    ~Psalm 20:4-5

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  2. May the Lover of your soul grant your desire, Jim, and may you rest in His perfect peace. God's knows your heart and He's with Andrea even now--she is not alone. Never be ashamed to share your heart with your Father--He loves you so deeply, Jim. Rest tonight knowing He's still working to bring complete healing to Andrea, and glory to Himself through this. He'll walk with you through this--He promised!

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