Time pushes me I feel it nudging me in the back, always reminding me of its presence. Never letting me relax. He is not our friend. The hours slip by and I see little change. Victories become smaller but we celebrate them as equals. We look for signs of hope, they grow dimmer as the hours turn into days. But as Andreas said as a little girl,” It only takes a second."
Here was the doctors’ report from this morning.
1. Stomach - They have seen a slow down in what is being suctioned from her stomach. That is good news. This morning they checked her residuals and it was 26ccs. So the suction tube is off for the next 24 hrs. After that they will check her residuals and see if they are still low. If so food will start tomorrow morning. Her stomach still remains swollen and the cause is unknown. I assume it is a combination of her liver and water from inactivity. Her liver blood tests looked "slightly" better today. I think her swollen stomach is contributing to her lack of lung volume as it pushes up on her lungs and limits their ability to expand. There is not one cause for any of Andrea's problems, I think it is more a combination of many little things.
Please pray for the doctor’s wisdom to piece this puzzle together.
2. Lungs - They changed Andrea's vent from a volume control (where the vent provides a set amount of air and Andrea controls the rate, and improvement is seen by decreasing pressure as I have described) The vent is now providing a set pressure. Andrea still controls her rate but improvement is now seen in volume she can take in. This is more uncomfortable on Andrea and physically tiring for her. The vent applies pressure and only drops for a second, so it is like trying to inhale and exhale against pressure. That is why it can be more tiring on her. The hope is the set pressure will expand parts of her lungs and give her more lung capacity. She was on this type of setting for the first week and a half. It does not seem to be has hard on her as it was then. As she is sleeping she still looks relaxed and comfortable.
Please pray for her lungs to be opened and her ability to get off this vent.
Well that about sums up the medical side of things. I will tell you I had the most amazing experience in this room earlier. I may write about it f I can capture it is words. Well I will just try. Irma is Andrea's nurse today and she is a strong believer. As Andrea was sleeping I asked her, "What do you think about faith, hope and God's will for Andrea?" We talked a while and I sat back down to write and listen to my music. After about 30 minutes Irma came back in. She had been praying for God to speak to me. When she came in the song by Mercy Me, "Word of God" was on. She started to cry and said the presence of the Lord is in this room, I don't know what He as to say but He is here." She stepped out and I knelt at Andrea's bed.
As I prayed I felt this verse come to me: Matthew 12: 46-50
While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you."He replied to him, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."
In my spirit I felt the Lord had come to be with His daughter. This was a meeting between God and his daughter, between Andrea and her God. I had no claim on her as a husband. Earthly relationships were not important. Andrea was created for God, to worship Him, to praise Him, to serve Him, and to bring glory to Him. My relationship was a blessing but it was not why she was created. This meeting was beyond her earthly relationships, especially mine. Things of this world were not important including my cries for her healing. I have no idea what was said. I did not receive an answer to my question of healing or death, nor did I care. I was humbled in my spirit to the point where my desires were not the issue. I was witnessing an intimate moment between the Creator and His creation. Andrea was created to bring glory to God and she has done this and she still is. Whether she lives or dies was not important. There was something far greater going on. I know this may not make sense to many of you. I probably would have felt the same way had I not been in this room. And I know I'm doing a poor job of capturing what occurred. But it was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. I got up and my worry was gone. Andrea was here for God's purpose and I did not need to worry. In that moment I was released from carrying the burden of her life or death. Something far greater then life and death happened in this room.
I share this with you in the hopes that you will know Andrea is in great hands. Today she met with her greatest love, and it was not me.