Our Journey to Healing: The Texas Two Step

Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Texas Two Step

The meeting to discuss moving the vent to the trach is set for tomorrow. Time TBD. I asked that Andrea's Oncologist, Dr Osswald be invited.

I talked to Andrea and I think if she is getting better that moving the vent would be best. It will be much more comfortable for her. Her mouth and throat are sore not to mention she came get that mask off her face that holds the tube. I hope she will get stronger faster with the vent in her trach, not to mention the comfort factor.

I know the ICU doctors feel all her problems are caused by cancer but I still feel there are other causes. The cancer may be contributing but it is not the main cause right now. I want them to treat her and not take the easy way out of well it's just cancer. Andrea was doing good with her cancer treatments and I still believe she will improve but we have to get her off this vent and back on chemo. The longer we wait the more it will be cancer and it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. They think her stomach problems and swelling around her gut is from her the cancer in her liver. I'm sure some of it might be but, she is swollen all over from not moving for 2 weeks. So how much is cancer and how much is just inactivity I do not know. But the longer we leave her in bed the worse both will be. And the longer she stays this way the less they feed her and the weaker she becomes.

We just need God to heal her and get her off this vent. So we are still praying for signs of recovery, and we still believe she will get off the vent. Right now there is no reason to think otherwise. If the trach will help her faster then I'm all for it.

That is what we will decided tomorrow. Will the trach help her and how will it affect her recovery.

The other discussion will be with the Oncologist to get there opinion on Andrea's cancer. What do they feel its role is in how she is doing. If the cancer is out of control then of course this changes many decisions, or makes them for us. But if they feel her complications are non-cancer related then we need to fight and fight hard. Time is not our friend right now. We need to get off the vent and we need it yesterday. That is why it is so frustrating to come in today and see we are back where we started 24hrs ago. Two steps forward, one step back. Now that I think about it Andrea and I loved to go country western dancing (Okay sorry about the visual of me dancing) last time we lived in San Antonio. We loved to do the Texas 2 step. If any of you know how the C&W dance you know that the Texas 2 step is just that, two steps forward one step back. Maybe an occasional twirl thrown in for fun. I guess we are just doing that again, only this time it's not as fun, and there's no music to this dance.

Maybe I will bring in my ipod and play a little George Strait.

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About Us

This blog began as as an account of Andrea's and my journey though breast cancer and her eventual death. My intention was to chronicle our experiences from sickness to physical healing but God revealed His plan was beyond the mere physical. I have continued to experience healing in my life and now God has opened a door to a new chapter in my life. This journey has not ended but has transformed into a new normal and the hope of a new beginning

My monthly updates, which grew into this blog, reached an Air Force pilot's wife in Jan 2007 who had lost her husband two months prior. Her name is Ginger and her husband's name was Troy. Through this tragic bond developed a friendship. And now, through marriage, God has merged all of our journies to healing. This blog is a compilation of these four lives; two sadly taken and two left behind. In this common grief God has given Ginger and I a desire to journal our experiences as therapy for our pain and a source of encouragement to others who face life's most enormous challenges

Andrea was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer in Aug 2003 while we were stationed in Anchorage Alaska. After 6 months of chemo and radiation we moved to Washington DC. In June 2005 we moved again to Seymour Johnson AFB in NC. Two weeks later Andrea was told the pain in her hip was breast cancer that had spread to her bones. Two weeks later we were told the cancer was also in her liver and lungs. July 5th 2005 Andrea began chemo treatment. On Dec 17th 2007 Andrea lost her fight with cancer but won her place in eternity.

Troy was a loving father of 5 children, and like Andrea was a
faithful servant of Christ. Troy was an F-16 pilot who volunteered to serve in Iraq. He deployed in Sept 2006. One day during his tour there he was tasked to provide close air support to a special operations unit who had come under overwhelming enemy fire. In an attempt to limit civilian causalities Troy made two low level passes employing the gun from his F-16. After a successful first pass Troy attempted a second pass to ensure the safety of the American soldiers. It was during this pass that Troy's F-16 impacted the ground. On Nov 27th 2006, Troy lost the fight in Iraq and that day won his place in eternity.

This blog is about our experiences, what God has taught us and most importantly about God's faithfulness. It is about dealing with life with cancer and life after cancer. It is about dealing with the sudden tragic loss of a spouse. It is about death and life and the deep grieving and growing process we are going through. It is about our victories and our struggles. But always it is about God's unfailing love for us.

We write this blog to tell you what the Lord has placed on our hearts or simply our feelings at the moment in hopes that this helps you understand what we are going through as well as give you encouragement as you face trials in your own life.

Some writings will be from Jim, some will be from Ginger, some from both of us. Some are writings that express Andrea and Troy's faith and impact during their short lives on this earth.

With thankfulness to Christ,
Jim and Ginger

Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

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